A struggling one perhaps, but still — as our discussion went on it became clear that they are actually two very different things. Not that my buddy Gandalf is a fur clad wildling woman, but hopefully you get the idea. While Gandalf and I were talking, the question was raised — when does dating become a relationship? And if and when the relationships starts to become more serious, you think of it less as someone you are dating and more as someone you are in a committed relationship with.
I still think this is something that just kind of happensand often it will happen for one person before it happens for the other.
In that post I raised the following question:. I am a huge believer in intention, and the question of why you are with your partner is perhaps the most important one you can ever ask yourself. But I think that question and much of that post actually is very relevant to dating.
Dating is inherently a selfish act. People are looking for certain things in life; and when looking for someone to share parts of their life with they have to be approaching it in a way that works for them. And I guess this is an area where I realize I had no clue you know nothing Drew, you know nothing. To find a person to share with, to build a love with that could last forever. Not everyone sees dating as something that could potentially develop into a relationship.
People approach dating for different reasons.
For some especially coming out of a long term relationship dating IS the goal. They just At what point does dating become a relationship to meet different people, and feel attractive again. And ideally these reasons are known to the other person — because there can be a lot of potential for hurt feelings when people are on different pages.
If one person is hoping to find the love of their life while the other person is just looking for sex, someone will likely end up being hurt. You may not fully understand what you want, but if you have no idea of what you are looking for how will you even know when you find it?
Back to the question about when dating becomes a relationship casual to more seriousI guess this begs the question of what exactly a relationship is. And really, that will mean different things to different people.
When two people are dating each other exclusively, I think you already have the early stage of a relationship. It DOES however mean you are willing to give it a chance and see where it goes. It just means that you are interested in THEM, and want to learn more. The question about when dating has gone from a casual thing to something more takes on additional importance when you are older, especially when you have come out of a long term relationship or marriage.
The level of closeness, knowledge and familiarity. So they rush things. It took being with that other person At what point does dating become a relationship sharing their life and experiences over an extended period of time.
Along this lines, a buddy of mine told me that when he started dating he was looking for a future wife, and he had to get out of that mindset, because you never know where dating is going to go so you need to just take it one day at a time.
Are you dating for fun? Or because you are ultimately looking for something long term? Only you can know that answer. And that answer should impact how you approach dating. When you know what you want, it becomes easier to decide if the person you are with matches what you are looking for. Is this a person I want to continue to see, learn, and share time and experiences with? Do I look forward to seeing them?
And do they in turn look forward to seeing me? Well that is a tough question. I generally always dated with the idea in mind that it could turn into a relationship. I totally lacked the skills in those days to talk about differing expectations. Like Liked by 1 person. Yes, I agree with that.
Bud, our conversations often turn into something worth writing about. My husband and I joke that we admitted we were dating after a year of unofficially doing so. We were really good friends for a while and officially became a couple eventually after discussing it and postponing for a summer…whole separate story.
Interesting post — thanks for that. I was seeing At what point does dating become a relationship during my second year at uni for a number of months and I really did begin to question what it was. I think the key thing is communication, to know where you stand. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Twitter account.