This is probably going to come off as very naive, but I am genuinely seeking advice and stories from those who have been in this situation.
How do you tell the difference between recreational drug user and an addict. What behaviours should one look for? Obviously addiction is addiction but I have seen varying degrees in people. Has anyone been able to successfully maintain a relationship with someone addicted to drugs e. I would like to hear perspectives from those in relationships with drug takers as well as those with addictions.
Thank you, I appreciate it and am trying to get a better understanding.
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Okay so I have never personally dated someone with a drug addiction, but my best friends brother is a drug user. In his case he can't be with anyone unless they share his need for drugs!!
I will put this in perspective for you, when you start smoking cigarettes you might have 1 or 2 a week or even a month. Then you find yourself having 1 or 2 a day then without realising it you are having a pack a day Because when you start doing anything that your brain "enjoys" your body needs more!!!
So what I am saying is the only difference between recreational and addict is time, could be weeks months or even years but eventually it could happen. I have dated someone who is a drug addict. I didn't know until I was dating him. If you suspect he is an addict, run now!
Being addicted makes people liars, untrustworthy, unreliable etc.
Money seems to go missing or they never have any money, even if they have a good job. They seem to have dramas where ever they go, and it's always someone else's fault.
Having more sick days than normal. They let you down. They hang out with dodgy people, keep weird hours. And even if there use was recreational they are still associating with some dodgy types, and taking shit that they have no idea what went into making it, that's not someone you want around your kids etc. Having been there before: Save yourself the gut-wrenching heartache! Only way I can describe the hurt is this YOU will never be more of a priority than a chemical.
You may think so now based on words but you will be thrown under a bus and drugs will be chosen over you. Knowing what I know now no one that takes drugs would even be a consideration for my daughter or myself. I have dated both drug addict and recreational user You will know the difference My ex was an addict and his pot or pills or speed always came first. He couldn't do anything without being high. The final straw was him getting so high he forgot we "Great questions to ask someone youre dating a druggie" supposed to be picking out our wedding rings.
And then wanted to attend in the state he was in. I cancelled the whole thing and gave him a week to choose drugs or me. He pretended to choose me bur wouldn't give up the drugs and then blamed me!
Poor him, had to be high while I was at work because he was lonely. I look back now and think why didn't I run earlier and faster. Never near our children.
And it doesn't affect our relationship. If that ever changed, he would be shown the door and he us fully aware of my stance on that. So my
Great questions to ask someone youre dating a druggie, if he is an addict, show him he is an addict. Give him the chance to look at himself from your perspective and decide if he likes what he sees.
If he is not unhappy with his Choices or doesn't see a problem, run. Very far away and very fast. When someone is addicted to drugs everything else becomes collateral damage. My husband was a reformed addict when I met him 8 years ago, he still recreationally used speed but I was unaware of that for a few years because it was so recreational, I didn't even notice.
When I became more clued on, I could notice the recreational use wasn't so recreational anymore, 2 years ago it became more frequent leading to most weekends, turning into sometimes weekdays, I refused to marry him unless he went to a drug counsellor, which I also went to seperately to gain a better understanding of the situation. I was told he was not an addict, well I felt pretty damn annoyed at that, a drug counsellor pretty much told me I was overreacting!
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So after he had been to 1 session, I told hom the counsellor wasn't very good and to stop going and we worked on it together, yes he wasn't 'addicted' but as a reformed addict, I knew the chance of him slipping back into addiction was very easy, so I put my foot down, no wedding if he touched drugs this was 6 months before the date I cut his sim card and got him a new one, I told him there was to be no contact with anyone associated with his use.
He did it and we got married. In the last 10 months, he has used maybe twice, this to me is recreation, not addiction, I monitor him and I know every single sign now to suggest he is on something and he walks a very thin line, he himself is getting over the novelty of it all now anyway, but I guarantee that if I didnt make drugs difficult for him, he would have slipped into addiction again years ago.
Its possible to be with a recreational user,
Great questions to ask someone youre dating a druggie its hard work for the both of you, mainly you though, I went through 2 years of emotional hell within myself to get to the point we're at now, but I'm the kind of person that wants to save everyone, I didn't give up on my husband because he's a fantastic partner, fantastic dad and fantastic worker and he now has a business with 5 employees and doesnt care for drugs much anymore because he's busy and he's happy and he cant run a business high right!.
True Addicts are toxic and their lives are a mess all the time! They don't go anywhere in life because they have no desire to do anything but drugs, they will not change for anyone but themselves.
I know many addicts and my husband has never been as bad as them, the signs are very obvious when recreation turns to addiction.
Recreational use is rare, fun, and has no impact or issu, ie the odd party, get together, festival, once a year or a couple times etc. Anything more than that and it's a choice and will probably become more important than other things that most grown ups with children prioritiSe and it becomes an issue and you shouldn't have to beg someone to prioritize you and your family. Apart From that the addiction changes their personality, I lived with a bong smoker and he'd fiend for it when he didn't have it,!
Didn't really do days out And even before kids it pissed me off that so much money was wasted on it. Unfortunately most people will swear it's recreational, they're not addicted, it doesn't change them, and ita not a problem. Then it causes the problems I said and they swear it's not a problem, or the drugs ITs just not a family friendly recreation. Best advice is to avoid the whole mess.
The father of my child, is a herion addict as well as having an ice addiction. I couldn't praise more of a how much of an amazing father he is and an amazing person he is, he may have an addiction but the addiction is not what makes him as person.
Some people are differently affected by a drug, some can use it and build an immune to it to which using doesn't give them any effect it's
Great questions to ask someone youre dating a druggie having it that they are used to even if it's not doing the same thing.
I am not a user and never have been and my partner doesn't use around us or our child. Do not run from the hills because of others opinions, a person can be sober with no addictions and be more of a risk to your child then one that done.
Everyone has their own opinions, you know what's write and if you feel unsafe and if his substance use is affecting you talk to him about it, the more communicate with them and understand and work together the better relationship growth you have.
If you feel it's not going to work within yourself that's when you know it's "Great questions to ask someone youre dating a druggie" right to stick around.
Keep your chin up and keep positive: My partner was addicted to ice and i was as well but as soon as we found out i was pregnant we both gave up cold turkey and never went back, we are both a year and 9 months clean, people that think that you can never quit are naive and have never experienced it themselves. It is possible for them to stop. My partner was on drugs when we met. I gave him an ultimatem knowing full well it could lead to a break up and he decided to kick the drugs.
He's now been clean 3 years. We now have a son as well as my daughter and he is the best father. But they have to want to stop. You can't force - it has to be their decision. Are you a Mum? If the answer is yes then please don't even consider this person as a partner.
Not for a second.
My hubby's Mum dated drop kick addict after addict. He now has many many issues and no longer has relationship with his Mum. All of these men were "recreational" addicts. As in they still worked etc. But every, single one of them was a terrible terrible influence for him and his sister and they suffered from a very difficult upbringing because his mother just wanted companionship, regardless of the kind of men they were.
My partner is a weed addict and honestly it isnt worth it.
Currently it is tearing us apart. The hardest part is knowing its time to give up and leave, but i don't know how to walk away when I love him. When I first met my husband unbeknown to me he was a heroin addict. It was a VERY long, stressful, repetitive process.
I was hurt many times by his lies, using, stealing etc. Then when he went to jail it all came out. I stuck by him though. I started seeing all the signs and I became a master detective. I found a book called 'not my family, never my child' and that helped me see it from a different point of view.
I chose to stay and although it was in now way easy at any point, I'm glad I did. I'm a lesbian and have been dating a girl for nearly a year, and
Great questions to ask someone youre dating a druggie found out she's a You're not an idiot, but you need to break up with her. A friend and former heroin addict (who has also dated other addicts) had this to say: Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating?.
Lots of teens have questions about drugs. Neither one is good—but you may need more support if your friend is addicted.
to him smoking more weed so I would just leave it and ask if hes ok.
My dad is a drug addict. The Good, The Bad And The Ugly Of Dating A Drug Addict But if you like knowing you're an emotional support system for someone and enjoy.
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