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There are two types of people in this world: I can barely make it through a brunch without tweeting something ridiculous someone says or Instagram-ing my frittata and bloody. The thing about online dating is it makes it way too easy to present yourself as some alternative, more put-together, filtered version of yourself. So pale it hurts.

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I carry SPF in my purse. I exist off of English muffins and white cheddar popcorn because I store clothes in my oven.

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I have two degrees that I will never use and it makes my dad really mad at me sometimes. I write about things on the Internet, and that may someday include you! Single, used to hogging the bed, and not really excited about having to share things. That would be moi.

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And yes, I do mind if you need to charge your phone. What do you think my iPhone is doing with that outlet? Who honestly has an answer for this question?

Just like everyone else who has wi-fi and student loans. If I want to still be single. If I like being single.

Sorry, what was the question? Once in college John Cusack asked Kendra to sing for him. Where do you come from? What is your purpose? Shibby was a freedom fighter. Not the freedom "Sports bra okcupid dating" that we deserved, but the one we needed. His purpose is simply to crush Margs while simultaneously stealing your girl. I was wasting time on either Reddit or Tumblr the other day, and I found an interesting piece of Spanish. More often than I should.