Psychosexual therapist and counsellor Mary O'Conor is our new agony aunt. She tells Emily Hourican how working through her own issues as a wife and mother has equipped her to help others deal with theirs. Mary O'Conor, relationship and psychosexual therapist, once had a male client
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist to his wife, in the middle of a counselling session, and say, "I'd like to be married to Mary.
Blonde, petite, pretty, with wonderful legs, she is also full of charm and fun; life-affirming -- the
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist of person who would automatically make you feel better about your problems and hang-ups.
Telling the story now, she is suffused with laughter, barely able to get the words out. What did she say I wonder? I might have the answers for you, I don't necessarily have them for myself So has she ever really felt that extra pressure -- to be the perfect wife and mother -- because of her day job?
I did wrong things too, and I did some good things, and made mistakes. When you see the damage people can do to each other I tried to make sure I didn't do that -- to my husband or my children. You find ways of reframing things. I wasn't perfect, but I got better. Mary will be filling the role so sadly left vacant by Patricia Redlich last year, answering reader's letters and trying to give them some kind of comfort in their time of need.
She was indeed irreplaceable. I will be hoping to answer problems to the very best of my ability, but from my perspective, based on what I have learned over the years and the things that I believe "Mary oconor psychosexual therapist." Having recently stopped working in the Albany Clinic in Dublin, where she has been seeing clients for many years -- "I stopped while I still loved it, it felt like the right time" -- Mary sees becoming 'Dear Mary' as an opportunity to connect with a wider audience and bring her wisdom to bear for many.
You can't claim it on your tax -- even though going to a counsellor for a few months will probably do more for someone in need than a course of antidepressants. But with the recession, it will be seen as a luxury, and will be the first thing to go.
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So, I would hope that this would be of help. I like the process of creating and writing -- I've written two books, one, Sexual Healing, I am currently updating to be republished; the other was a novel. What "Mary oconor psychosexual therapist" wonderful combination, to write in response to real people's problems, and maybe, hopefully, have some sort of an influence. Also, I think it's lovely for people to see other people's problems. You don't feel so weird yourself.
Psychosexual therapist and counsellor Mary...
What then would she consider to be her own problems? These mostly centre around the many enforced absences from her husband. I accepted from the beginning that John's life involved travel -- more as he got more successful -- and rejoiced in it but it was difficult to be on my own so much. Particularly at weekends, which is when families traditionally are together.
The other thing was the loss of my beloved mother, which I found incredibly difficult. She died 13 years ago and we were great friends. I still think of her every day. Sex therapy was only ever a part of Mary's work, although it was the bit that got her the most attention.
However, she insists that in comparison with
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist thorny, tangled mass of relationship problems, sex therapy is easy.
It's much more complicated. Mary started her working life in television, as a production assistant in news in RTE, "then I had my two children and John had already started to travel. It really wasn't working, we were both away from them. I was doing shift work and was dropping them to my mum's for two days at a time. She was a wonderful person, eminently sensible, and eventually she said to me 'I feel they are nearly resenting coming over here'.
So I thought, oh God That gave me a good grounding in all the problems that were around, but you couldn't do anything about them, you weren't to do anything only listen.
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist first canvas a trainee counsellor Mary oconor psychosexual therapist with is themselves, confronting their own difficulties.
For example, I find it very difficult to to ask people to do something for me. I suppose I have a fear of appearing needy or vulnerable.
It's something I'm still working on," Mary concedes. She also found, to her astonishment, that her own happy childhood was the exception rather than the norm. I was hearing these dreadful stories, of all these awful mothers, in particular.
I began to think, I'm abnormal I was almost tempted to invent them! Branching out into the area of sexual dysfunction happened just at the time her two boys were hitting adolescence. So what did they think of having a mother who dealt with sexual problems for a living? Another few years though and it became cool. And by this stage they're quite proud of me and what I've done. Both would feel they could talk to me, that we could talk over problems and I'd take a fairly rational, abstract approach.
In a way, Mary's strength as a
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist is precisely this approach -- she's rational, kindly, and humorous.
For example, on the subject of being 'completely honest' -- such a central tenet of the American Way of Life --she's not so sure. It's different if they ask "Mary oconor psychosexual therapist," but if you just want to tell because you feel so guilty, and think it'll all be grand once you've unburdened yourself, it won't.
By telling them, you are compounding the original hurt. They haven't done anything wrong, but you've shattered their trust, their belief, their love, unnecessarily. I don't see what's to be gained by it. People say to me that I speak a lot of common sense. So is sex more complicated in modern Ireland?
Are couples facing more, fewer, or just different, sexual problems? Or the woman suffering from vaginismus, which is a disorder where she can't allow penetration of any sort, even by a tampon, not even for a smear
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist. That woman is usually a very anxious person, very
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist, a worrier, very close to her mother and her family of origin.
Those sorts of people are still going to be there. That's not going to change just because other people are more open about their sex life.
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She has funny stories galore -- like the time she was on a radio show, and a man rang in to say he'd been away for the weekend with work, and had slept with a colleague, and now felt so guilty. Or her mother will hear you! I've been at dinner parties where people have discussed my clients, because they've been in the public arena, and I'm sitting there listening to these people talk utter drivel, factually incorrect, and I just sit there and say 'oh really If you say anything at all, you get into murky water So what "Mary oconor psychosexual therapist" the success rate for counselling?
Is it actually possible for two people to resurrect a relationship? Or for an individual to make the changes they need? Not one for fudging the important stuff, Mary admits, "change is so difficult. The will can be huge, but the actual doing of it But if they are truly engaged and want it to work,
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist is hope.
With a couple, the first thing to establish is, do they want to stay together?
Or are they working towards breaking up. We work that out in the first session or two. And if they are honest with me, it helps. I never could understand people coming in and paying me
Mary oconor psychosexual therapist to lie to me. Has anything, over the odd years of her career as a relationship and psychosexual counsellor, shocked her?
She pauses just for a minute, then smiles. I think I must have been always fairly unshockable. Nothing really ever shocked me. Sometimes you'd want to smile a bit She will be answering readers' letters from next Sunday, February Here the Mediterranean lifestyle meets the jet One year ago, Denise Gough was another actress hoping for her big break. But now, hers is the name on everyone's lips: Prince William and his wife Justin Bieber showed his serious side as he spoke to Blake Lively has revealed
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Marie has 1 job listed on their profile. See the complete profile on. Search results: 54 therapists matching your search criteria.
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