Has "Fuck new friends" learned from them and become a wiser person as a result? Hahaha oh gosh no. I'm struggling with not having any friends after college. I feel miserable and am looking for any advice on how to feel better and make new friends. With my old group of friends I always felt like I was forgotten and left out.
Here is something that I rarely, if ever, disclose: I am often overwhelmed by a terrible, howling loneliness. Depression tends to flatten my experience of the world, and grief has lately made it sharp, but loneliness is the thing that really forecloses; it is the sense that whatever I am doing or feeling it will not be shared or understood, that I will be unknown.
It feels like a personal failing — to admit we have trouble making friends, to bend toward care and be met with indifference.
Fuck new friends, the message the world is constantly hammering out is that this is the era of connection!
If you are not constantly awash in the joy of companionship, well — that sounds like a you problem, right? You say that you have trouble making friends because you say the wrong thing and come across as weird.
Maybe you are strange and not a particularly good conversationalist, but have you met other people? The world is full of weirdos and snobs and people who went to Harvard.
I think your problem is both simpler and more deeply entrenched. You are an
Fuck new friends in a time when the architecture of the world is designed to keep us separated from each other all while telling us we are ever-less alone.
Also, give yourself a break. You just moved to a new city presumably for this job at which you spend all of your waking hours. Making friends post-college is difficult enough when you actually have the time to do it.
Nor will I tell you to embrace this time and really get to know yourself or some such bullshit; if your early twenties are for finding yourself, the rest of your adulthood "Fuck new friends" for forgetting what you found. I would urge you to make time for therapy, since a therapist is in
Fuck new friends better position to offer specific and detailed advice and also everyone should be in therapy basically all the time.
Your feelings are not silly and you should not try to ignore them. I suspect long-suffered loneliness drives our worst instincts as people — spite and cruelty flourish alongside it.
The yearning for friendship; our sometimes desperate needfulness; these are things we should embrace rather than be ashamed of. It takes time but I assure that while making friends as an adult can be difficult it is not at all impossible. And in the
Fuck new friends remember that while you are lonely, you are not alone in that.
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I fall in love too fast. I behaved poorly and now I feel bad.
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