I opened up to some friends today. Not super close friends, but close enough that I knew they wouldn't think very differently of me yet at the same time would accept me and try to understand me. I'd give you the details but I'm in a hurry. They couldn't understand how the two were even remotely related, yet to me and other asexuals, I find the analogy perfect. I think this failed usage of the cake analogy exposes
Asexuality cake analogy fundamental concern when speaking with sexuals: The cultural rift is so wide that it might not ever be possible for them to understand.
And since we don't feel sexual attraction, we don't understand what's so special about it. Since they do, they see how it's special right away. Is it truly possible to explain to a sexual person how
Asexuality cake analogy feel?
Has anybody else encountered similar situations where you try soooo hard to explain asexuality to kind, supportive, and accepting sexuals, and they really just don't get it at all? Has anybody else used the cake analogy with meager results? Does the term AS3 Asexuals in support of supportive sexuals have any real meaning?
My roommate find it impossible to believe that you can be attracted to someone without wanting "Asexuality cake analogy" with them. Maybe try to use the same analogy with something they just take for granted. No matter how hard I try to explain it to my sister who admittedly doesn't consider sex as having any large importance in her life she doesn't understand. Just when I
Asexuality cake analogy she's getting it she'll say "Have you ever had an orgasm?
Because maybe, rather than being asexual I'm JohnSexual, and there is someone out there named John who I will inexplicably feel sexually attracted to, but no one else, just John.
I've yet to have the chance to use the Chocolate Cake Analogy capitalized even with her though.
I'm hoping it will work. If it makes you feel any better, my mom who pretty much just had sex to get pregnant with me and nothing else also says that the two things have nothing to do with each other. I've used more than just cake though. I used a lot of examples like video games, movies, sports, food, soda,
Asexuality cake analogy various activities and she said that those are all completely different, mainly because sex is expected of you if you're looking for a significant other, but no one automatically expects you to like anything else.
There are some people who just don't get it no matter what analogy you use. Personally, I've always been a fan of the radio analogy. I was actually having a talk with a friend of mine last night who's the usual narrowminded right-wing kinda guy you find in Tennessee which I am myself somewhatwho was of the opinion that if you like a girl
Asexuality cake analogy you're Asexuality cake analogy guy, you're straight.
If you like someone of the same sex, you're gay. Of course, since he's sexual, he doesn't understand our position.
I especially appreciated the asexual...
Unfortunately there's no good analogy that will clarify such a diverse situation to everyone. I came up with one, but have never had the chance to use it because I'm not sure if I will ever tell anyone about my lack of sexaul attraction. I liken it to someone offering you two plates each with different types of food on them. When asked which one you'd prefer to eat, you say, "neither looks all that appealing, but if I had to make a choice, I'd pick plate B.
In either case, plate A isn't appetizing at all" Of course, I have no idea how well this would work, but it can't hurt to try, can it? Id say they should all die but then so would man kind and that
Asexuality cake analogy jsut screw the food chain over greatly, so we have to keep them around, you know, for breeding purposes.
I have never used the cake analogy, but none of my sexual friends really 'get' it. A few of them are supportive, others are in compleat denial, but none of them really understand what I'm "Asexuality cake analogy" about. I know sexuals who
Asexuality cake analogy believe in asexuality.
I know sexuals who say they can not comprehend not feeling sexual attraction, but believe there are people like that and are fine with it. Kindly do not lump all sexuals into the same group. I've seen too many people fall victim to overgeneralization recently, and it is starting to wear on me.
The concept of asexuality --...
I've done acid LSD several times and I've had sex a lot more times. Both were very memorable experiences, not entirely negative by any means, and I learned a lot from them, but I have no desire to repeat either one.
I know people like that too. I made the foolish mistake of opening up to them, and one
Asexuality cake analogy them I didn't know she was like that, and the other, I should have guessed, but I was hoping since she is my best friend that she'd be more open about it.
I remember trying to explain asexuality in a chatroom using a similar analogy, but I used Marmite instead of chocolate cake A therapist I've been seeing did a pretty good job of explaining to me why most of the analogies don't quite get the point across.
Most people who aren't asexual feel a biological drive toward being sexually active - not something you feel about chocolate cake. It isn't that they like it and I don't, it's that their bodies are telling them to do it and mine isn't. Really, the only biological drive I can think of that's close to that is the drive to have children - if your friends are childfree or just don't want kids it might make sense.
The analogies are good as a jumping-off point I have one I like involving skydiving but they're also inherently flawed, and I think that's part of the problem. It would be like one of us trying to understand what it was like to live life without ever feeling hungry, or ever feeling the need to sleep - it's a deep-seated drive, not just a taste. When I last found myself explaining it the
Asexuality cake analogy I made was with lizards.
I said I found forest dragons physically attractive, but had no desire to sleep with them. This brought quite a lot of laughter; neither of the
Asexuality cake analogy I was
Asexuality cake analogy to thought about describing animals as 'physically attractive', something they seemed to conflate with sexual attraction.
They seemed to get the picture when I described it as finding someone aesthetically pleasing and enjoying looking at them, though.
Thinking further, a slightly closer analogy might be with my dog - he's a very pretty dog, and indeed when I'm around him I get the urge to cuddle and stroke him, something very similar to the feelings I have around people I find attractive - but of course there's nothing even vaguely resembling sexual attraction involved.
On the interview, Winter gave it as an answer to the question about celibacy: We all can decide to start having sex and we choose not to.
So what's the difference between asexuality and celibacy? When I try to explain asexuality altogether, I usually talk about gay people. If you're a straight sexual guy, you'd have no sexual feelings for other guys. No matter who they are, you wouldn't want to sleep with them.
If you're "Asexuality cake analogy" gay sexual guy it's the same story, only towards girls. Try to use positive words, like we're "both" rather than "neither". We "prefer emotional relationships" rather than "only get so far in one". Adding rather than substracting may help to make the point go across. I should think that it would be easier for sexual people to understand not having sexual attraction than it is for asexual people to understand sexual attraction.
Ever hear a sexual person say "I'm just not in the mood? Granted, some guys are
Asexuality cake analogy walking phalluses and may genuinely want to screw anything that moves, however most sexuals should be able to admit that there's someone or something!
Going the other way, you could analogize sexuals with people who live in temperate climates, and asexuals living on tropical islands around the equator.
While snow may be inevitable in those temperate zones, it never makes it down over the ocean on the equator. While those temperate people take snow for granted, it's impossible for an isolated tropical islander to imagine, let alone crave. Nevertheless, the temperate folks should be able to recognize that life goes on without snow. I just think it's better to use the weather rather than food and dieting, since certainly no one can control the weather.
While sex may be a deep-seated biological urge, lack of sex never killed anyone, which is why asexuals live to tell their stories as
Asexuality cake analogy to the unfortunate avores and asomniacs, who died before they could start an online community! I think this failed usage...
My favourite is one someone posted ages ago, that if a monosexual grew up never coming into contact with their naturally preferred gender, or having any concept of it at all, they'd be effectively asexual, never experiencing sexual attraction. I'd probably use that one to explain sex drives in asexuals that have them.
I suppose it would still be impossible to use on
Asexuality cake analogy and especially pansexuals though. Aww, you should tell someone. You get to have the big "coming out" talk with your family, at least. Asexual Musings and Rantings Search In. Help fund AVEN's servers! Archived This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. So I tried using the cake analogy on my friends Posted March 30, Share this post Link to Asexuality cake analogy Share on other sites.
Sometimes sexual people can be plain silly. If that does't work, my previous statement stands: Posted March 31, Sexuals are self centered unopen minded boobs. I know sexuals who say they can not comprehend not feeling sexual attraction. I don't think the cake analogy would be good at explaining WHAT asexuality is. So an asexual guy is both. I used a lot of examples Posted April 2, Even I find the cake analogy confusing, and I'm asexual.
Posted April 3, This topic is now closed to further replies. Sign In Sign Up. The concept of asexuality -- human asexuality -- confuses an awful lot of people, which is why it's tempting to turn to a more familiar metaphor to. I especially appreciated the
Asexuality cake analogy in-joke of presenting cake to those Of course, this is a bad analogy when applied to me, because I'm one.
Asexual spectrum, explained through a cake analogy: Allosexuals: They love cake.
Asexual spectrum, explained through a...
They've never lost interest in cake and they have a strong.
Name City About Self Interest Profile Jamie S. Graham Fayetteville / USA We are here and we are Queer. Fellatio follow... Barbara J. Love Petaluma / USA I opened up to some friends today. Not super close friends, but close enough that I knew they wouldn't think very differently of me yet at the same time would accept me and try to understand me. Donkey punch follow... Ronald N. Miranda Brunswick / USA They literally say that sexual attraction is not something they feel! Having a sex drive is sexual attraction!! Sinulator follow... Lisa R. Coleman Muscatine / USA I love making new acquaintances. Muscle worship follow... Theresa T. Hall Starkville / USA I am open, gentle, interesting, responsible, sociable, intelligent and loving! Pegging (sexual practice) follow... Lynne G. Wyman San Simeon / USA Demisexuality is part of the asexual spectrum, which is itself part of a sexuality spectrum ranging from sexual to asexual, with a wibbly wobbly area in between to steal a phrase from the Tenth Doctor. I got crushes on guys. String Figures follow...
Jennifer F. Klein Needles / USA I never betray my friends. Love egg follow...
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The Ace Theist
That is part of a series on tropes in fiction with ace characters. Vaughn bit his lip, gazing at Jonah. Those grey eyes were pitiable, almost pleading with him to understand. As several of you know, references to cake are plebeian in ace spaces. It started as a constant joke at the AVEN forums, but has expanded to become a marker of aceness both on and offline. But is it enough for an ace character and a cake to be in the same place at the same time?
Is it enough if an ace character eats a cake? I did not include those examples. Concerning that matter, while researching this trope, I discovered that a surprising covey of ace fiction stories have pancakes in them.
An especially long lump reference can be form in Candy Land. He had to work to feed them all while they were lazy and made more babies, which they sometimes sold payment money.
Comparing sex the act and genders of people to desserts, a couple of popular posts on Tumblr have used food analogies to explain this and other orientations. Celibacy is not going to kill you the way that food deprivation will. However, there are a few salvageable aspects of this model. Sexual attraction is comparable to having an appetite for a specific dish, while sex drive is more like the physical feeling of hunger.
A person can think a plate of spaghetti looks really good without necessarily being hungry at the time, and another person can be hungry while at the same time looking at the stuff in the fridge and thinking that none of it looks appealing. This could be useful for explaining how the presence of a sex drive can be a separate issue from sexual attraction. Extending the model, it can even can explain why some asexual people might enjoy sex: Food is a non-sentient commodity to be consumed.
Some groups already have a history of being objectified or treated like property.
They have certain preferences for the number of cake but they think a lot about piece and they forever enjoy it and seek out opportunities to eat congeal. Local cake shops, fancy cake shops, birthday cake, encrust samples at the grocery store..
I also decided to stop labeling myself as a in the main. I think sexuality or lack thereof is too knotty to fit into a label. The AVEN wiki defines gray-ace as:.
Similarly, some people who might technically be a member of to the gray area choose to identify as asexual because it is easier to clear up.
7 Things Asexual People Want You To Know
The article discusses the ways in which asexuality a deviation from the heteronormative standard is explained to those who do not experience it, or are not a member of the atypical community—the community generally the better knowledgeable about various gender and sexual orientation identities.
The lingo combines sexuality and romanticism, which creates invalidation of the aromantic that is, one who does not experience romantic attraction to others, but may experience other forms of attraction identity. The presentation of asexuality as a watered-down version of another sexuality leads to the invalidation of the asexual identity and erases asexual experiences. The homogenized impression of asexuality gains respect being it fits neatly within heteronormative standards, but at the charge of an identity—it is the intentional downplaying of differences in order to make a deviation more palatable.
This article differs from others, as it is a blog post rather than an article from a lettered journal. It is useful, because it indicates closer to real-time how these issues are being discussed in knowledgeable circles separate from academia. I hold the article itself, completely closed off from the topics being discussed, is a really great resource because the language is a mixture of the accessible and casual the author regularly refers directly to their own experiences, opinions and personality and speaks directly to the reader as well as more specialized jargon to the LGBTQIA community.
It is much easier to announce than academic articles though unmistakably much more prone to influence and is more representative in my eyes of what an average, moderately informed person within or even just interested in the LGBTQIA community might pore over. In terms of heteronormative ferociousness through language, I think the article is really rich with examples and explanations of why that violence is really appurtenant to.
After all, if asexuals are exactly like the cisgender, heterosexual majority aside from one scrubby, easily overlooked difference, what requirement do they have of the queer community?
Let Them Eat Cake:...
AO3 Search for Ace ring. Try to use positive words, like we're "both" rather than "neither". Most people who aren't asexual feel a biological drive toward being sexually active - not something you feel about chocolate cake.
No matter who they are, you wouldn't want to sleep with them. The AVEN wiki defines gray-ace as: Asexuals have a history or mental illness or sexual abuse This is, unfortunately, a very common — and very untrue — belief about asexuality. It seems off that the artist lists romantic orientations and correctly defines them as based on attraction, but then moves aromantic to it's own panel and defines it by a disinterest in romantic relationships, instead of correctly being based on lack of attraction.
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Girls, would you ever **** a guy you didn't know? I especially appreciated the asexual in-joke of presenting cake to those Of course, this is a bad analogy when applied to me, because I'm one. An Asexual Cake Analogy Okay, so lately I've seen a lot of posts saying, “How can asexuals have a sex drive?? They literally say that sexual..
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Furthermore, liking cake sometimes is used as a metaphor for liking is depicted as using cake in a metaphor to explain asexuality, such as in. The Sex-Indifferent Asexual (Who Has Sex Any Number of Times). So let's say you go to a restaurant with your friends. Everybody orders: appetizer, soup or. Asexual spectrum, explained through a cake analogy: Allosexuals: They love cake. They've never lost interest in cake and they have a strong. An Asexual Cake Analogy Okay, so lately I've seen a lot of posts saying, “How can asexuals have a sex drive?? They literally say that sexual. The article discusses the ways in which asexuality (a deviation from the The analogy goes that some people like cake, and want to eat it;. I can best describe my feelings towards sex with what I like to call the carrot cake analogy: I don't have any wish to eat carrot cake, but there's.
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