In the days before online dating, being "exclusive" with your lover meant you'd cease to date and sleep with other people. But now, with the kaleidoscopic array of dating apps at our finger tips, the lines between what does and does not constitute cheating have blurred.
A swipe here, a message there — these are the acts that lead to dates, dalliances and, sometimes, deep, meaningful relationships.
But, in the age of casual, label-free dating, what does it mean when the person you're dating is still swiping on online dating apps?
This one WhatsApp feature can make The guy im hookup is still on tinder break relationships. Executive assistant Mandy found out that the man she had been dating was still using Bumble through subtle changes she had noticed in his profile. Mandy said she felt completely powerless, and she didn't feel that she could confront him about it. But the feeling that you are in contest with thousands of women is destabilising and made me wonder what the point of online dating is," Mandy continued.
Mashable dove into the topic and found that not everyone agrees on whether it constitutes cheating — but it's overwhelmingly women who want to talk about it. Here are three different perspectives on the issue.
Lifestyle blogger Ashleigh Dougherty says that a lot of the guys she has dated have carried on swiping behind her back. I was recently dating someone who said all the right things that a girl wants to hear and even deleted Tinder without me prompting him to I kept mine ," Dougherty continued. Dougherty says that she does consider swiping to be a kind of cheating, even when you're only seeing someone.
Designer Jane Cooper told Mashable that it depends on how long you've been dating the person. There has to be transparency," says Cooper. All of my friends would send me screenshots — it was quite funny really. I cut ties pretty quickly because there was no trust there," Cooper said. Dating and relationship coach India Kang told Mashable that the only time swiping constitutes cheating is when you're engaged or married.
Kang says that until you've had a talk about exclusivity, it's very normal for people to keep swiping on dating apps. If one partner is swiping and the other isn't, Kang says that it could give you an idea of the person's feelings and intentions. Dating and sex blogger Naomi Lewis also thinks if you're seeing someone then swiping is "not cool". You're not cheating but you still feel like you're doing something bad — not a good start to a relationship when you're beginning to build trust," Lewis continued.
Lewis says that if you're honest and you tell the other person that you're still swiping online then it's fine. Checking your partner's dating profile incessantly might not be the healthiest way to find out if you are both on the same page, so if you are in any doubt, having an open and honest conversation might be the way forward.