My students were shocked when they read evangelical books on dating. The idea that you would know your partner's religious affiliation, what made them tick, or what kind of family they came from before you had sex with them was unheard of. They couldn't imagine how to bring religion or spirituality into relationships. It was way too intimate a question. It's something you get into after you had been with somebody for six months. What's really interesting is that you have a lot of people with extremely different value systems in long-term, serious relationships because the conversation happened way after the fact.
Many serious relationships start only after a serial hooking-up that has taken place over the course of months where there is little to no conversation in between the hook-ups. Among evangelicals you couldn't even think about whether someone was attractive before you knew whether or not the person was Christian. What are other differences between evangelical college students and Catholic students? I asked everybody why they came to their college and some percent of the students at evangelical "Evangelical dating catholic women" said off the bat, "I wanted a Christian education.
When you look at Catholic colleges, unless it's very conservative, a lot of them say, "We're Catholic, but so what? Don't worry about that. We have a great basketball team! There's a lot of debate on campuses about how prominent Catholic identity should be.
Some places there's a sense that if we show that we're too Catholic, then we'll scare people away. You write about how evangelicals can be forgiven for things that they regret.
Why don't Catholic students turn to Confession if they regret sexual behavior? On an evangelical campus you have people all the time who are constantly interacting with each other in faith-based ways, so it's not weird to pray together for forgiveness. It's very startling to someone who is not used to it.
But for Catholics, religion is Evangelical dating catholic women.
One girl I interviewed told me that she had two sexual experiences that she would call spiritual, but she didn't discuss that with her partner. She experienced it by herself, and she would never tell her friends or the person that she was with about her feelings.