If you are at a loss for words, just say, "Fuggedaboudit. If you take a cab, make sure that you are packing heat, as well as carrying a universal language translator. None of the cab drivers up north speak anything remotely close to Northerner dating a southerner moves language. Don't be surprised to find liquor sold in drug stores. Get used to hearing the "F" word and try not to take offense.
Most northerners just use it as an adjective. It's fing cold, it's fing hot, she's fing ugly, What the "F" you looking at," etc. The spring wardrobe you brought out in April can wait til June.
Even though you are already driving 15 miles over the speed limit, the idiot behind you with the New York tags flashing his lights and flipping you off wants you to get the out of the way. No offense, it's common practice up there.
Although there is only one posted speed limit, there is a fast lane and a slow lane. Those traveling in the fast lane are usually doing miles above the speed limit. If you want to drive the speed limit, stay in the right lane. Be advised, northerners do use turn signals; they just wait until actually turning to do so. Most northerners will try to tell you that the "N" word is only used in the south, until an African-American moves into their neighborhood.
If you tell someone that you're from N. Also, "Does your family have an outhouse? Be advised that while you may be used to opening doors for ladies, this could "Northerner dating a southerner moves" considered a come-on.
Worse yet, lesbians and women's libbers consider it an insult. Although you have been taught to use it all your life, permanently remove Ma'am and Sir from your vocabulary unless you are in the military.
People will look at you as if you are fromanother planet. Never ask for grits in a restaurant, and don't expect to find sweetened ice tea anywhere. Don't be concerned that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
Weddings and funerals alike are generally viewed as opportunities to get knee crawling, slip-sliding, commode-hugging drunk. Other transplanted southerners can be identified by the fact that smile and speak even if they don't know you. In addition, if they haven't lived there too long, they still have good manners. While you may have been used to doing this all your life, never again leave your windows open at night.
Most northerners seem to think God has a last name. You will rarely hear his name mentioned that it is not followed by a four-letter word. They know not what they say. You will also hear Northerners frequently say, "Ohhhh Myyyyy Gahhhhhd! When some kind-hearted Northerner reminds you who won the Civil War, respond by saying, "Oh you must be referring to the War of Northern Aggression. There was nothing Civil about it.
Think back to when you used to live in the Northerner dating a southerner moves. Make a list of all the things that transplanted northerners used to do that drove you crazy.
Don't do any of them. Now that you have lived up north, you have a better understanding of why northerners are the way they Northerner dating a southerner moves. If you ever do move back to God's country, you will no doubt be more tolerant of them.
A woman of diversity through and through. Find all posts by preciousjeni. Ok, so 2, 3, 15 are horrible and I don't agree.
You can get sweet tea, but it has so much lemon in it, you'll gag for days - or else, it's that nasty Lipton pre-made stuff. It's so true and so sad! That is what is great living on a border state, relating to one and all, except for Canadians, Eh? Oh, South maybe, Grits no! Like eating Mush, god, my dad used to eat that fried!
Wonder if I can get a Visa to get across the Border? SaWeet Tea, who in the hell puts Lemon in Tea, Sugar, I am a purists!
Last edited by Tom Earp; at Find all posts by hottytoddy. I know of three places where I can get fresh brewed sweet tea within a 5-minute walk of my apartment. Find all posts by Munchkin Find all posts by DeltAlum. I must admit, I agree with DA. Having been in Michigan all my life, the only ones Northerner dating a southerner moves ring true for me are 4, 6, 7, 8, and Find all posts by PhiPsiRuss. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years.
The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle.
I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both the driveway and sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again. It snowed an additional five inches last night and the temperature has dropped to about 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow.
I shoveled the driveway again. Shortly afterwards, the snowplow came by and pulled his trick again. Now, much of the snow is brownish-gray. It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush that soon became ice when the temperature dropped again.
Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. More snow and ice expected. Still cold as hell. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4 x 4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guard rail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel.
Had another eight inches of the white shit last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me. That goddamn snowplow came by twice today! It's two fucking degrees outside.
Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death "Northerner dating a southerner moves" candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the fucking house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered second-degree burns on my hands and I lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows.
The car Northerner dating a southerner moves off the road on the way to the hospital and was totaled. Goddamn motherfuckin' white shit keeps coming down! Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fuckin' mailbox.