This site uses cookies. By continuing, your consent is assumed. Learn more

99.4fm shares

Hookup while in the middle of a divorce

opinion

By Cindy Holbrook for YourTango. Casual sex after divorce means different things to different people. As a general rule of thumb, men usually have an easier time keeping emotions out of the equation. Some women will confuse the intimacy with love, leaving them open to be hurt. For this reason, it is imperative that women heal and let go of the fairytale before entering into a casual relationship for sex.

After her divorce, Lana was terrified of going out for drinks with the girls. After being in a sexless marriage for years, her strong craving for sex and intimacy were driving her crazy. Hookup while in the middle of a divorce did not trust herself and pictured herself jumping into the sack with the first man she met.

She felt a battle going on inside of her mind: One side saying that it is perfectly normal for her to have these desires and to act upon them, while the other side seemed to shout that she is supposed to deny her desires and remain a good girl and a good role model to her children. Jen took another route after her divorce. She went a little wild and began immersing herself by going to bars, allowing herself to be picked up by attractive men and having one-night stands.

2. Look for Signs of...

She was looking for validation in herself and for a way to fill the deep yearning she had for all that had been lacking in her marriage. Lana and Jen took off in two completely different directions. Neither one took the time to stop, breathe and look at what they were seeking and why they wanted it.

Having casual sex after divorce is not for everyone. However, for many, it provides for their physical need without feelings of guilt and helps them to heal and grow.

News feed