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Why can t i find the right guy

opinion

This is the step that often gets missed or overlooked. The problem was simple: I was choosing the wrong men. This is where the problems develop. This is where all the questions and tears and doubt and uncertainties and fears start to consume you. This is just a glimpse into the confusion that ensues when you choose the wrong guy.

The start of a relationship can oftentimes color our lenses and sometimes lead us down a bad path and into a toxic relationship.

Particularly, women I speak to...

You meet someone, something clicks, and suddenly it feels like a force outside of you has taken over. You try to think about other things but nothing works. You ruminate over every detail of your interaction with him—what he said, what you said, what his body language said. You think about the things you wish you had said. You check your phone constantly to see if he called or texted.

If he does, your stomach drops, your heart races, you want to leap off your seat and shout for joy.

We fall for these guys...

The high continues as you venture into a relationship, and it becomes even more intense. You never quite know where you stand with him. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadowing.

This emotional rollercoaster is as thrilling as it is exhausting. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving.

You may check Why can t i find the right guy Facebook profile, but only for a few minutes. You go out a few times, not expecting much, but soon enough your interest and attraction begin to grow. Instinctively, you would say the second one. In real life, you would fall for the first. In movies and romance novels, love is this grand, all-consuming force that takes you over in the most dramatic of ways.

Relationships that start from a place of pure, unadulterated passion can seldom survive unless they have some substance and depth of connection to stand on. It can lead to great sex and feelings of euphoria, and you may come to understand why they say love is a drug, but no matter how intense and all consuming, that sort of thing is seldom sustainable long term.

When you feel a strong and sudden pull towards someone else, the kind that causes you to turn him from mere mortal to deity-like being, something sinister is usually at play. This theory, developed by clinical pastoral counselor Harville Hendrix, Ph.

Through our relationship, I can...

Imago is Latin for image, and the theory essentially states that we unconsciously seek partners who reflect the image of our primary caregivers so that we can try to heal lingering wounds inflicted by them by working through issues with someone in their image. These relationships present the opportunity to heal ourselves and become whole again, but they also pose the risk of continuing to pour salt into open wounds.

How it pans out is something like this: When we meet someone, we immediately sense everything about him, especially the way he makes us feel again, this happens unconsciously. If your unconscious finds something familiar in that person, something that reminds you of an unresolved hurt from the past, it will light up and push you towards that person.

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