Popular culture can give you the feeling that dating rests entirely on ladies doing and not doing a laundry list of things in order to snag and keep a man.
Or Never Call Back. If their immediate response is offensive or misogynistic, it's a red flag.
Is he interested in feminist issues when I bring them up? And can he talk about them in ways that express curiosity and engagement and respect, instead of defensiveness, or dismissiveness, or attachment to stereotypes?
Feminist views on dating If we can talk about this stuff in ways that are interesting and productive, I can work with it most of the time. Before you scour the internet for feminist-only dating sites they apparently exist? It works to our benefit to be flexible on this. So long as they are a feminist on some basic level whatever you determine that to bethey may be worth giving a shot. A new and not-so-shocking sociological study found that men want women to pay their share on dates, but are afraid to ask.
If I want to see someone again, or if I was the one to ask someone out in the first place gasp! The same goes for the time and energy invested in a relationship. Or we find it fun and exciting, and therefore difficult to abandon.
Playing games can appear to the norm, and straying from them make us seem at best strange, and, at worst, psycho. As the Vagenda so brilliantly put it:.
Playing distant games indulges this bizarre patriarchal idea that women must be ethereal, mysterious creatures. It comes from none other than the executive editor of Feministing.
Feminism can help you decipher the difference between something you want and something that is expected of you, which is an invaluable exercise not just in dating, but in life. And sometimes, you may not want to try.
You may already know that you want a big white wedding, a long happy marriage, and babies, and nothing about that is necessarily anti-feminist. You may want some or none of those things. Or you may have absolutely no idea what you want.
Regardless, feminism gives you a lens that can help you view dating in a new and liberating light. Dating shouldn't be a race down the aisle, a reflection of your self-worth, or a measure of your success. Dating is fun and hard, and awkward and exciting, and as long as you do it on your own terms, it can be a great way to get to know new people and to learn new things about yourself.