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Expect different body language. Autistic people don't always make eye contact, sit still, or look at the person they are listening to. However, that doesn't mean they aren't paying attention.
If your date has unusual body language, but is paying attention to you, then it's going well. Many autistic people listen better when they don't have to look at your eyes. Flirt clearly and directly. Aspies don't always pick up on subtle cues, including subtle flirtation. It's helpful to be direct, so they don't get confused about your intentions. Here are some things you can do:.
Most people with AS don't actually want to be "picked up" or compliments, they prefer intelligent conversation. Be extra courteous e. People with AS tend to want to talk a thought through to its entirety. Let them finish rather than being rude and interrupting. Interrupting someone with AS is difficult for them to get back on track, so be patient and listen.
Ask your date's boundaries. Autistic people may be uncomfortable with certain types of touch and intimacy, because of sensory issues. To find out what works for them, just ask.
Having Dating tips for guys with aspergers clear conversation is easy for many autistic people, and you'll get a clear sense of what your partner likes. Give them enough alone time to process information and situations.
Be aware that loud, bright, and crowded environments are like their own personal hell. They will need to avoid these places or have a clear time limit of how long they will be in them in order to deal with the overstimulation. People with AS decompress in different ways than NTs. This could be being alone, staring off into space, or stimming. They need to do these things and it is not a choice - it is a need. Ask for clarity if you're confused about what your date is thinking or doing.
Aspies often can relate to being confused in social situations, and your date will likely be happy to tell you what's on their mind. Here are some examples of things you can ask: Is something going on, or do you just like to look out windows when you're listening? Be clear about your own thoughts and feelings. Picking up on body language can be difficult work for an autistic person, and they might not realize what's going on, or guess completely wrong.
If you want them to know your feelings, the easiest way is to express them out loud. I'm a little on edge today because of my dad coming. You did nothing wrong. I would like to have rearranged my schedule so that I Dating tips for guys with aspergers be there for her.
Respect their space, and let it go as slowly as it needs to. Some autistic people like to have things "just so," and having a stranger or acquaintance in a personal area feels unnerving to them. Let things move slowly, and ask before coming over. Since autistic people tend to think literally, your date may think that an invitation indoors is nothing more than an invitation indoors.
Talk about sex before trying it. Everyone has different preferences and boundaries, and autistic people's preferences may be different from what you typically expect. Some have sensory issues that make it difficult, while others have enhanced sensation. Talk to your partner and see how they feel about it. Talk to your date about how you want them to respond to problems.
Aspies can struggle with feelings, and may find it easier to focus on problem-solving. If your partner isn't responding in a way that helps you, tell them what you need instead, such as "I know you mean to help by offering advice, but right now, I just really need to vent.
Don't avoid discussing your feelings for fear of upsetting them. It's important to be honest; your feelings are also important, and your date will recover.