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Ways to make anal sex better

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The nerves in and around the ass are exquisitely sensitive, so they have a lot of erotic potential.

My book and workshops have all of the how-to tips to make it pleasurable, but the right attitude is even more important than the technical skills. So here are a few tips to help you make the most of your anal adventure. One of the many ways in which porn is terrible sex ed is that the performers almost always just dive right in, without any warm-up or lube.

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Unfortunately, when viewers copy what they see on the screen, they can easily hurt themselves or their partners. The number one best suggestion I have for making anal sex amazing is to slow down. Even slower than that.

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There are a few different reasons why this can help. First, the internal anal muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. The best way to keep that from happening is to go super slow and invite their ass to relax.

Even folks who are very experienced with anal play can enjoy the experience more when you start off slowly. Third, there are two distinct sensations that can affect how someone enjoys anal play. A lot of people like the way that that stretch can feel.

The slower you go, the less friction there is.

Once the receiver is more relaxed and turned on, that becomes less of an issue. One of my favorite kinds of hands-on coaching sessions with couples is demonstrating just how slow I mean by showing it on the receiver, and then guiding the giver Ways to make anal sex better they practice it.

It makes a difference. Of course, people who are familiar with anal play, and know both what they like and how their bodies respond can often speed things up. When most people think of anal sex, they assume it means intercourse or at the very least, penetration. In fact, it can feel wonderful Ways to make anal sex better focus on the external muscle and the skin around it, without any penetration at all.

The more pressure you put on your partner or yourself for a particular outcome, the more difficult it can be to enjoy the erotic possibilities because the resulting stress can get in the way. And even folks who have plenty of experience with anal play can sometimes not be into it because they had a rough day. The more you can follow the pleasure without expecting any specific route, the more you and your partner will enjoy anal play.

It helps if you know lots of different ways to do that, and you might be surprised to discover just how many options you have. This is especially important for folks who are just beginning to explore anal play. Arousal makes things feel better, and doing something that you know you like makes it feel safer. Think of it as making the new thing a side dish rather than the main course. In addition to being full of sensitive nerves, the anus is a place where a lot of people hold many different emotions.

In particular, we often hold challenging feelings like anger, fear, or shame in the pelvic floor.

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And when those emotions are linked to past experiences of painful sex or sexual trauma, they can be held even more tightly. One of the most important things you can do to make anal sex fun is to touch your partner with care.

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Consider how an intense, deep back massage can be given with care while also being quite powerful. If you want to have intense anal play, you can still do it with care. When you give your attention to your partneryou bring yourself into to the present moment, rather than getting caught up in your fantasies or your expectations for how things will go.

That gives you the room to focus on how you touch them and what you communicate to them through your fingers. That creates more relaxation and expands their capacity to feel good.

At the same time, the anus is so physically and emotionally sensitive that creating that foundation can be even more important than for other sexual pleasures, at least for many people. Anytime those folks decide that they want to explore anal pleasure, I tell them that these four steps are essential.

They often find that the rest of their sex "Ways to make anal sex better" improve, too. Fortunately, there are some great resources out there. Tristan also made three great how-to movies: You can also come to one of my workshops on anal playwhich I teach all over the US and Canada.

You can find out more about that here. And in the meantime, remember: Let Go Of Your Expectations When most people think of anal sex, they assume it means intercourse or at the very least, penetration.

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